Merry Baby Ramblings to all, and to all a Good night!

It was Christmas Eve 2018.

And daddy said, as he was putting the kids to bed (before having to clean the house, extricate the gifts from hiding, wrap the gifts, place them under the tree and get every imaginable detail ready for the perfect Christmas morn for the darling children):

Daddy (after he read the last entry from the Advent calendar): “And may you all sleep like baby Jesus. You know when Jesus was little he slept ALL the time. You should all sleep long and late tomorrow (despite the fact that you know that gifts will be waiting for you and a sixth sense will drive you to irrevocable alertness at an ungodly hour of the morning). You know, silent night, holy night. All is CALM??" (emphasis added by father)

Lucas (the wheels ever spinning): "But the Bible says that God never sleeps." 

Daddy (falling into the trap of reasoning with a (now) 7 year old): "Well yes God never sleeps nor slumbers. But Jesus was on earth as a human and so he had to sleep. And he slept GREAT! Even as a baby. Like ALL the time."

Lucas: "But even if he was God? He wouldn’t have slept, even as a baby! He would be awake all the time, because he was God. Wasn’t he still God when he came to earth?"

Daddy: "You know you shouldn’t try to overthink this. Just go to sleep. And if you don't sleep late, you'll get coal in your stocking." Resorting to threats because the baby Jesus example didn't work.

Lucas (with a wide smirk of victory spreading across his face): "Yea. Sure." He said with a wink and that defiant knowing smile, secure that he had won. As children are wont to do.  

Because he was actually right. And Jesus, the God of all, and of all babies and other humans, probably didn’t need to sleep a wink. But maybe he did anyway.

It remains a mystery.

Nevertheless, we are instructed to become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. And Jesus said that. So we should be like him. And he probably didn't need to sleep as a baby. 

But it remains to be seen whether he kept his parents up all night as well, as he presided over world affairs as a one week old.

We may never know. And we may never sleep. All we know is, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! 

And good luck!

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Two Months?! Like 10-day Old Milk

If you are wondering why I haven't blogged for about two months, perhaps you should look no further than our refrigerator where we found 10-day old milk.

In other words, Lucas (the only milk drinker) had been consuming outdated milk until someone caught a whiff of it. Oops. He's doing fine, in case you were worried - abs of steel. *

Does that explain things?

If not, maybe this will:

This is what happens in me and Lucas' room every night.
No, the bed is not meant to be in the middle of the room.

In other words, mommy and abba claim to be exhausted and weary, although we babies are obviously energetic and brimming with vim and vigor well into the evening hours. And all sorts of baby tricks that must be published.

Soon.

*Note: Abba protests revealing the milk incident for the world to know. Oops - too late! 

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Engineering Changes in our Lives

Move over Thomas Edison -
Lucas is about to discover electricity

When babies are quiet...
they are learning something new like how to
plug in mommy's computer

Many may chide me for being unfaithful to my blog for so long. But let me pose this question: How long did it take you to get a college degree? A few years?  Or a month? I've been absent from the blogosphere for approximately a month. And in that time, I have accomplished many, many feats with my assistant and younger brother Lucas. One of those feats was to earn honorary degrees in applied science and electrical engineering. And it only took us a month!

Gravity discovered?

When Edison was inventing electricity, did the masses complain that he didn't live blog his attempts? Did anyone chide Isaac Newton for not tweeting immediately when he "discovered" gravity? Oh, wait. Mommy tells me there were no blogs, tweets or even internet back then. Okay, never mind. However, I know that we would not bother them if they were in the midst of important experiments. (Unless we were babies and then we would have found a way to improve the experiment in some way.) And thus, I took the example of the greats who have gone before me, and took a hiatus from blogging just so I could gain encyclopedic knowledge of the world around me and its physical laws.

Now I am free to recount what I discovered while earning my degrees:

1. the mechanics of closing doors and how that can affect one's fingers, or his brother's
2. the disassembly of toys and their many parts
3. the knobs on the gas stove
4. the kitchen drawer wherein lie the knives
5. electrical cords
6. electrical outlets
7. how electrical cords fit into electrical outlets
8. gravity from a 4th floor window (a pacifier was sacrificed in this experiment, not a baby)
9. how to wiggle out from car seat restraints like Houdini
10. how one's poo melts in a bathtub of warm water
11. a study on how running on the couch differs from running on tile
12. how to scale a bookshelf without ropes
13. where abba's tools are located
14. a look at the trajectory of chunky puzzle pieces aimed precisely at someone's head
15. the discovery of the switch for the guillotine-like electric shades
16. the on-off button for the fan

I may have even gotten a driver's license
in this amount of time

These are but a few of our science projects and experiments that we have been running here in our apartment while mommy and abba also have been running - after us. Most days our creativity is limited as the doors to extraneous rooms are sealed shut and we are kept within sight. But there are those moments when parents are caught off guard or those 20 seconds when a sole guardian runs to the bathroom for the first time of the day. That is when we resume our quest for answers to more scientific theories be it staring down from the window to the bushes four stories below or locating the iPad charger and fixing it securely into the wall. Or locating the iPad itself and trying to crack the code so we can play without restriction!

Hm, maybe for my next degree I'll pursue computer engineering and specialize in hacking mommy and abba's passwords!

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Who's That Girl?

As we spoke about in the previous post, Lucas has a lot of words that he throws out there on a regular basis. He correctly recognizes most of the significant people in his life including GongGong and Mimi, Nanni (which he frequently chants as well, we don't know why). He even started pointing out Uncle Matt after just one day in the same state of the same country! He has been calling abba for months now. And of course he knows Yours Truly as well, and affectionately calls me Nyeh-nyeh.

But there is one whom he fails to call anything. One has to wonder if Lucas thinks to himself, who is this random woman in my life who arrives crib side when I cry at ungodly hours of the morning. And who is this random woman who feeds me on demand when I whine?

I watch with awe as Lucas ticks off vegetable characters and distant relatives with ease, but he can't even figure out who "mommy" is! And she is, without a doubt, a significant part of his life. So why does he name everything else, but she remains nameless?

In fact, its not that he can't say "mommy" or "ima" (mom in Hebrew) or "mama" - or anything remotely related with a maternal figure. He readily says "mam-mam" which means "FEED ME NOW! I AM HUNGRY!" And he spent a few weeks calling balloons "mama" for some unknown reason, even though the "b" sound is not a challenge for him.

So he can say mama.

Its just that he has no idea what "that woman's" name is when it comes to our very own mommy! Now how does it happen that the person he sees most in his life and looks to for comfort and food - and when he is about to do something naughty - is the only one he hasn't labeled? Even though he recognizes her across a room, he draws a blank when it comes to her name.

"GongGong" - check!

"Nanni" - check!

"Uncle Matt" & "Aunt Majda" - check!

"Daniel" - check!

Mommy tries not to take it personally, but it is a tad baffling that smarty pants can't find something to call his own mother. Maybe someday soon. Sorry mommy!

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Throwing Caution to the Wind - and iPhones in the Bathtub!

Me guilty??

Kerplunk!

That was the sound of Gavriella's iPhone taking a dive into my bathtub.

Here is how it all transpired. It was during one of Gavriella's esteemed visits to our home a few weeks ago. Gavi, because she trusts me more than my parents do, allowed me to play with her fun iPhone. This was even more fun that playing with their non-smart phones! I touched all sorts of colorful icons, I chewed on its sleek veneer, I recorded videos, I placed it down on the floor and picked it up again - and all this without throwing, which was very miraculous.

In fact, mommy was beginning to wonder whether I had turned a corner in this behavioral detriment of mine regarding throwing. Nevertheless she dutifully cautioned Gavi that I may randomly just throw the phone at some point. But Gavi is my friend and she seems to believe I could do no wrong. Not even the unthinkable!

So good was I that I continued wandering the apartment with the phone while mommy and Gavi carried on and even momentarily forgot that I had something valuable in my hand. So while checking on Lucas who was cutely drifting off to sleep they remained oblivious  - until that infamous "kerplunk" dragged mommy back to reality.

See, mommy's mind has a new skill - translating sounds from afar and instantly assessing their danger level. For instance, the sounds of a TV remote clattering to the tile. Bottles being launched from cribs vs. pacifiers being launched from cribs. Babies tumbling from illegal surfaces. Wooden puzzle pieces falling to the ground. Computers slipping to the tile. Things like that. All different threat levels, all requiring a different speed of response.

So in that split second after the kerplunk, mommy processed this: Sound of something being thrown; the dulcet aquatic acoustics indicated a water landing; object sinking to bottom of bathtub; memory that nobody drained the tub post-bath; further memory that the last time anyone saw me I still was holding Gavi's iPhone having ever so conveniently not yet thrown it. Until I found its perfect target.

"*$&#*(^$*#&^&*$Q^*Q&#*," was mommy's response along with a quick dash and a death-defying dive into the bathtub to rescue Gavi's poor iPhone.

Mortified parents. Gracious Gavi. Lucky Daniel. The iPhone acted funny for some time after its bath, but by the end of the visit it was behaving properly. Whew.

Now many things in our apartment has moved up a few levels from the floor. But you can never keep up with a baby. One day we can't reach into the knife drawer and the next day we are using the wooden surfaces as target practice. This is how we roll. And it leaves the adults in our lives having to roll faster, or try to anyway.

Why did I have to throw it, you ask? Because it was in my hand, of course!

The portrait of innocence

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Negotiating for Peace and a Silent Night

Strange bedfellows? Lucas and Lucie were
sleeping peacefully together until caught in the act!

The only war going on around here these days is the War on Sleep. It has been an all-out assault against the Land of Nod, and subsequently on my parents who have determined that, one thing far worse than having jet lag is having babies with jet lag, which equals baby lag.

So after a full week of baby lag and then a week of welcome-back-to-school runny noses followed by a ferocious bout with Only God Knows (teething perhaps?), Lucas and I are setting epic records of sleepless nights thus accounting for fuzzy brains and zero blogs. And you thought it was the rockets.

Since my parents anticipated hell's fury when we got back from three weeks in the US, they opted for an all or nothing policy regarding our sleeping arrangements. Before we left for the US in late October, I had been in the crib while Lucas was in a pack and play next to my parents' bed. There has been an empty bed in my room awaiting my arrival ever since Lucas' arrival last December. Everyone assumed that Lucas could hop into my crib and that I would gracefully adjust to a toddler bed.

Well, its been 11 months now and I finally seem to have gotten the message across that the bed is going to continue to wait for me for a long time. Mommy and abba tried to prod me into the bed when we got back two weeks ago. I applaud the effort and the logic of gesture. Jet lag, however, was on my side not theirs. I would emerge from the bed and appear at various places in the apartment shortly after being put to bed. No amount of bed rail or gate was going to keep this baby in.

Meanwhile, Lucas conquered the crib with aplomb and wasn't giving it back. That meant I was relegated to the pack and play, which has been moved into my room, which is now me and Lucas' room! And suddenly mommy and abba have no babies in their bedroom. That doesn't mean they sleep any better, of course.

In the midst of all this, mommy commuted to London for a Shalva event on Wednesday, leaving us to unleash our fullest wrath on abba who was all alone and severely outnumbered for just under 48 hours. Mommy had two baby-less nights to catch up on sleep. She returned to an abba who had no voice and even less energy. To welcome mommy back, Lucas and I have been taking turns serenading her through the night - to make up for lost time.

It is an inexplicable phenomenon that while babies can have a bad night of sleep and carry on with energy and innocence, that adults seem to suffer much worse. I watch as they drag their feet, mumble incoherent phrases and hook up a small tube straight from the coffee pot to their arms. Poor parents!

I am not suffering for lack of sleep

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The Flight of the Bumble Ba-Bies

Would these innocent little faces cause angst or concern
on a 12-hour trans-Atlantic flight? Nay!

A long time ago, coming from a land far far away, mommy embarked upon the biggest challenge of her life. Was it worse than giving birth to Lucas and I? No. But it did take longer, which made it comparable. On Oct. 24, mommy got duped into taking not one but two babies on a flight across the Atlantic all by herself.

That was more to blame on the IRS not sending abba's passport back in time, but that's a long story. Mommy was due to come to New York for work on behalf of Shalva, but she is not allowed into the country - according to official grandparental and great-grandparental law - sans Lucas and I. That is the unpardonable sin.

Thus we accompanied her on her journey to provide entertainment and to keep her ever sharp and on her toes. We are already leaving tomorrow for the return trip so I don't have time to recount the flight in all of its glory, including the tale of the sleeping woman who got nailed in the head with a coffee cup. Or the nap that I never took, for 13 hours. The delay of flight in which we sat on the runway for an hour. Or the thrown bottles and pacifiers that went missing. Or mommy's new skills that even tested the flexibility of yoga moves in order to retrieve said bottles and pacifiers from under the airplane seats.

We are having our Last Supper (of this New York trip) this evening, yet another appropriate and electrifying Italian meal. As for dessert, please enjoy these videos taken during some sane moments before and during the flight:

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Terem, Toys and Teething

Terem, for those of you unfamiliar with the finer points of Israel, is the emergency clinic near our house. It is our place to go when the doctor's office is closed and when we haven't quite reached ER status. 

Sharing secrets of the trade

When Lucas was born mommy wondered a lot about what differences would unfold between him and me. For better or for worse, she has found that there seems to be more in common than not, aside from our dashing yet divergent good looks. Allow me to elaborate. You knew I would anyway.

1. Drama

Though Lucas hasn't earned the label of "drama king" yet, he has already discovered that if he wants to be noticed around here he has a lot of competition, with me in particular. Accordingly, he jumped in on the action the other day when Uncle Matt and Aunt Majda paid their final visit to us. On their first two visits in early and mid May, I made sure to expose them to my drama of being sick, an episode they missed in NYC and all the many times in Israel. So both times they came by our apartment, I became the non-femme fatale and threw my head back with fever and tears. And both times, instead of a normal visit with all of us, Uncle and Aunt M&M ended up babysitting Lucas while mommy and abba carted me off to Terem.

We managed to go on one walk and get some
ice cream while they were here

And we managed to get a few family shots
before Lucas or I unravelled

Lucas unravelling

He held his own for at least one photo

Lucas enjoyed his first session with them. And while he enjoyed the second one as well, it was then that he began to wise up to my shenanigans. He kept this bit of information in his ever burgeoning brain for later use. That later use came this Sunday when Uncle and Aunt M&M came to bid us adieu before returning to the US. Now, it was his turn.

After more than 24 hours of incubating a fever that was unresponsive to over the counter drugs and practicing a pathetic cry (though not nearly as abysmal as mine), mommy wished M&M bye bye and then took Lucas to Terem. And there mommy learned that we have another thing in common:

2. The uncanny ability to recover as soon as we are admitted for medical care (except for my few hospital visits, which I milked each time)

Here's a video of me at Terem, "sick," two weeks ago followed by one of Lucas just mere days prior to this blog post:

It is amazing how just the sight of a doctor can cause us to perk right up. As you can see, we both bounced back rather quickly - and embarrassingly so if you ask the parents who rushed us out the door with our ailments and all.

3. Entertainment

Sure we provide stellar entertainment as the scrumptious babies that we are, but this bullet point deals instead with our need for entertainment. Mommy is having deja vu as she attempts to work from home. It was just this time last year that she had me at home while she tried to get things done, like a job for instance. It was my daily challenge to keep her distracted from her work and I succeeded admirably. Since then I have been carted off to Shalva's day care so that others can practice their entertainment skills.

This year, Lucas has taken on my mantle at home. Now he stares forlornly at mommy from his play map while he musters his best whimper to get her attention. He will not be easily persuaded with activities or plied with colorful toys. Even TV has a minimal effect on him. Lucas must be gazed upon in order to stem the tide of tears that threaten to pour from his eyes. Anything short of direct eye contact is, for Lucas, a slight. And rather unacceptable.

During his days at home with mommy, he makes sure to lure her to-do list to his own special recipe of tasks: me, me me! Hey, he learned from the best! (Clicking the link is advised)

Innocent as charged!

4. Teething

I don't have much to say about this dreaded topic except that Lucas and I are on the same cycle: tandem teething! Yes, we both are cutting all sorts of painful objects in our respective mouths. Simultaneously. And, amazingly, we really don't even notice the pesky process unless it is nighttime. That is pretty good, I think. To be able to endure 18 hours of probably pain and discomfort and only really respond to it during certain hours (particularly between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.) is an admirable trait and goes to show just how brave we really are. Just another thing that us brothers have in common!

Mommy? Abba?

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Hunkered Down for the Snow-pocalypse

(Warning: Illegally cute video at end of this post)

Shock and awe!

Though this is not - by far - my first snowfall, it is certainly the first one for which I was cognizant. And as you can see from the photos, I was quite surprised by this powdery, cold substance that was falling from the sky, furiously at times.

But more than a year before this rare snow "storm" in Jerusalem (zero accumulation, mind you), I lived through the real Snow-pocalypse in New York City - the blizzardS of 2010 and 2011. I was only a few months old so my memory of that is as hazy as the fog is over Jerusalem today. However, my parents have not stopped talking about the various ways in which it ruined our vacation in New York at the time.

At times the snow looked threatening

But Lucas threatened back with
his fierce smile

A view of the "storm" from our balcony

I never saw this in Jerusalem before!

Full disclosure: It was a lot of bark with little bite.
Nothing stuck. Poor snow was vanquished as it hit the ground.

But it was awe-inspiring while it lasted

In just two days of March, the weather has proven to be even worse than all of rainy, windy February. How is this even possible?

Today's challenge, thanks to said weather, was a bit different from when we were in New York: How to keep warm at home with no central heating as Jerusalem temperatures plummeted to 30s (Fahrenheit) outside and 50s in the apartment! My parents concocted all sorts of ways to stay warm including saving up laundry for today so they could use the dryer and channel the damp steam into the house; baking fattening foods thereby keeping the oven on; and pulling all the space heaters out of storage and running up the electric bill.

They also futilely cordoned off yours truly in the carpeted area so that I would stay warmer by not crawling on tile. That didn't last long as I found ways around the barricade into glorious freedom. Finally, the barricade was disassembled and the farce ended as I resumed my rule in the apartment, conquering room by room.

But we were all homebound for a predicted 48 hours since the interminable downpours, crazy winds, sprinkles of hail and yes, the snow, kept us seeking refuge in the semi-warmer apartment where at least we weren't getting wet. Yet.

I did use the time in lockdown wisely to get to know my baby brother Lucas a little better.

Getting to know Lucas. I am also pleased to meet you!

Here is a video of us getting to know each other and officially meeting at last, since I shake his hands (about 2 minutes into the video), which makes it official. As you can see in the video, we are communicating in baby code - and my parents don't understand a word of what we are saying! I do find these sessions rather frustrating though as my parents hold me back from fully expressing myself with my baby brother. I wonder why.

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Don't Forget the Children!

Home (almost) sick, with Lucie

And at least they didn't forget the children.

Today was a challenging day for mommy and abba. Mommy schlepped to Shalva, with me, to participate in the Mommy and Me program. Lucas tagged along too making it Mommy and Little Brother and Me. But juggling two non-walking babies in the winter is a trial by fire of parenting. At least for novices.

All day long while mommy tried to pay attention to the therapists' great advice for how to play with me, she was also constantly doing her own mental review of our belongings that seemingly spread from one end of the city to the other.

Hats. Check.
Blanket. Check.
Two Uggs. Check. (You cannot lose the Uggs!)
Two pacifiers. Check.
Cell phone. Check. 
Keys. Check.
Jackets. Check.
Babies. Check. 
Camera (for blog). Check.

Lucas: Carted around all day,
but not forgotten.

And there was more, but that gives you an idea of the mental gymnastics mommy was experiencing. This continued after Shalva when we took a walk to the place where we get vaccinated (we both handled the shots like the little men that we are). Mommy asked abba to bring her sneakers from the apartment so that she could walk in comfort. Nevertheless, we were halfway there already before she realized she wasn't wearing her sneakers. Where were they? Not on her feet. Not in the stroller. Not in her bag.

Hours later, when we arrived back at the parking lot, there were her sneakers, sitting outside the car exactly where she intended to don them. But she hadn't. And we left, her sneakers randomly abandoned in the parking lot.

Personally, with all they had going on, I am grateful that they remembered Lucas and I instead of the sneakers. I mean, if they were going to forget anything, it certainly shouldn't be us.

This comes a day after I was home, on the verge of being ill. I say on the verge, because mommy and abba have explicitly forbidden me to be sick, still scarred from too many hospital visits. So with a runny nose and gunky eyes I am on the verge, but not quite going there.

My day home

Bored and cranky at home

All the toys in the world failed to entertain me

I resorted to eating puzzle pieces

I know triangles don't fit in the circle,
but at this point I only work with the circle

Nothing like a visit from Grandma and
grandparents on Skype to cheer me up!

Stay tuned: Tomorrow I will go back to school full time, defying illness and all. And that will give me ample opportunity to blog about my Mommy and Little Brother and Me day as well as post copious amounts of photos. 

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Lucas: Assistant to the Regional Manager

I am mentoring my little brother Lucas
in the ways of being a good and,
of course, challenging baby

As assistant to the regional manager, Lucas is doing a good job keeping "parenting" a challenge. If he keeps up this way, he will probably pass his three-month trial period, which comes to a close on March 23, with flying colors. He is a quick learner Allow me to explain.

Did you see the movie Elf? At some point Buddy the Elf proudly answers the question of whether he got any sleep the previous night with this brilliant response: "Yes! I got a full 45 minutes!" Apparently that was all he needed and he spent the rest of his hours whittling a rocking horse out of the wooden furniture in the house. Well, that my friends, is Lucas. That is about all he needs to survive. In fact, sometimes he needs just 10 minutes!

I'm beginning to think maybe Lucas is an elf. After all, he was born two days before Christmas.

I share with Lucas all of the ancient
baby mysteries 

I believe I can trust him with a little bit
more responsibility. In fact, maybe now
I can sleep through the night as he
pulls his own stunts.

This, naturally, renders my parents a tad beleaguered, which works in my favor. When I get home from school, after a full day of drawing and playing basketball, I arrive to two adults who are willing to keep at least one of us happy. Since I am more advanced in demanding my way and understanding their language even while they still do not speak mine, I usually win.

Art class rounds out my destructive tendencies

What an astute and alert student I am

Jeremy Lin - eat your heart out!

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And the Giants Win the Pennant! Er, Super Bowl!

From green (yesterday's post) to (Giants) blue

A funny thing happened to me on the night when my parents were silently begging me (for once) for a wake-up call anytime between 1 and 4 a.m.: I slept soundly. All through the night. Not a peep.

Super Bowl Sunday is actually Super Bowl Monday in Israel. Monday morning from 1:30 a.m. until the end of the game, after 4 in this case. Normally we wouldn't aim to wake up at these hours, but in this case one of the New Jersey teams was playing - the New York (?) Giants. My parents figured they wouldn't need an alarm to catch the game considering they have me, assistant regional manager, and Lucas, assistant to the regional manager, to ensure their wakefulness. Between the two of us there would be ample opportunity to see the game.

However, I was to be of no help this time as, of all nights, I didn't wake them up. This may sound like Murphy's law, but, actually, it is the Law of Babies, which is a far more Draconian version of the same concept.

Thankfully, Lucas delivered though and just in time. Sort of like Eli Manning! He woke mommy up just before 4 a.m. - perfect timing. Abba was already up with his own internal NFL alarm clock that was honed to perfection this season. Most importantly, they both watched the last quarter and those crucial, excruciating and surreal final few minutes. Great ending (for us), but the tension was made all the more eerie in those pre-dawn hours.

This was me, pre-gaming with my Giants chuchung!

So I may not have helped my parents wake up for the big game, but perhaps that is because I have a lot on my plate these days. Two big events happened in the last week, specifically in one day. On Feb. 1 Mimi left to go back to New York. It was sad when I arrived home and there were only two adult human beings (Lucas doesn't count yet as part of the greeting committee) to fawn over me. I already miss Mimi's presence and all the extra attention. Not to mention the food!

But with Mimi's departure, it was time for me to hurdle yet another milestone in my young life: to take the bus home from school in the afternoon. This means I now have a big-boy day where I clock in long hours leaving the house at 6:40 a.m. and only beginning my commute home from Shalva at 3:30 p.m. I arrive home some time between 4:30 and 5 p.m. Gasp!

Mommy used to pick me up around 1:30 each day, but now, thanks to Lucas, she can't come get me. Mainly because she'd have to carry two of us from Shalva to the car and from the car to our home. She really should, unselfishly, work on her arm strength rather than let me suffer.

Not that I mind my long day. I am surrounded by myriads of ladies who dote on me plus I'm with all my friends and even the big kids (3 year olds) who gather in the TV room for the last hour of our day there. And I get a sandwich too!

Actually, I think mommy and abba are suffering more than I am with my extended absence.

Eating out with Grandma

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