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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Note (or Warning) to the Babysitters

Me basking in the love

When Mimi and GongGong are here, mommy and abba become chopped liver. Not only do Mimi and GongGong forget they exist, but so do Lucas and I. In fact, Lucas who can say and correctly identify "mommy" now, will unabashedly spurn her in favor of GongGong when they retrieve Lucas from school. When she tried to take him, Lucas says "No, no, no" and shakes his head emphatically while smacking her outstretched arms.

This is something that GongGong brags about incessantly and with great - almost insufferable - pride. I also use this time to bask in grandparental attention, taking full of advantage of Mimi and GongGong's presence. Ice cream - bring it on! Extra Veggie Tales time - yes! Twelve-course meals - bon appetit to us! And all sorts of other spoilers.

Of course we still lavish our attention upon mommy and abba at late-night and pre-dawn hours, so that they don't feel left out.

But this sense of favoritism for our grandparents has inspired our parents that they can just leave! Accordingly they are fully confident we will be safe and sound with MM and GG while they flit off to a foreign land. Hmph!


...and never proven guilty!

So while mommy compiled a list of phone numbers and instructions for MM&GG, I too created my own list for the babysitters - The Baby's Lists of Warnings for Wary Babysitters.

In no particular order (and certainly not comprehensive!):
  1. Lucas is fast - faster than you think. Lose sight of him for a split second and shelves will be emptied or items will be tossed into the toilet bowl.
  2. I have reverted to a stage in life where I must lick everything in sight. So be careful where you sit - it might be wet. 
  3. Hunger sets in fast and furious. Be prepared for sudden and unreasonable meltdowns when the food isn't instantly ready.
  4. Do not wear white.
  5. Remember, a one-on-one or two-on-two ratio of adult to baby gives the baby an unfair advantage. One adult to two babies stands not a chance. Try to keep the odds in your favor.
  6. Try to learn to read minds. We prefer that you anticipate our needs beforehand and that you interpret our desires expressed in the form of crying and whining.
  7. We do not play with toys, but nice try getting us interested. 
  8. Lucas has only two speeds: zero and full throttle. I have only two volumes: loud and louder.
  9. We like all foods except when we are picky. Picky seasons occur at our whim, are unpredictable and sometimes change within the day itself.
  10. In the morning, do not be surprised if our room looks like a war zone, with all of our bedding flung onto the floor. That only indicated a good night sleep and an exuberant wake up!
We've already been breaking them in. MM&GG have been privy to our erratic meltdowns and our destructive tendencies including the following photos: Mimi's ripped necklace by yours truly and a broken shelf courtesy of Lucas. 

Example of Destruction 1: Ripped necklace 
Example of Destruction 2: Broken shelf
Buon viaggio, abba and mommy! Good luck Mimi and GongGong!

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