The Greatest Birth Story Never Told

This is today.

This is -3 years ago, -2+months before due date

This is -9 weeks before due date, or Day 2 and counting.

Her insistence on an early birth earned Raia lots of fun wires and tubes
that we all wanted to play with ... and a lot of TLC at the NICU

...in addition to other sorts of attention.

Pure and innocent as the wind driven snow. For now.

A few months after her very early birth, Raia was declared by doctors "up to speed" with her chronological age rather than having to pro-rate her development according to her preemie age. She was 6 months and she had caught up to "normal" (as if there's such a thing as normal)* as a half-year-old baby in weight, height and milestones. 

Today, on the celebration of her 3rd birthday, we can start to measure just how much she has surpassed "typical"* 3-year-olds in our family having perhaps the most extreme personality of the mix here.

Princess. Running back. 

Raia has far outpaced us, her brothers, in size, in independence and in attitude compared to us at her age, and sometimes even at our current ages. 

Size. Without abandon she has tossed 3T to the wind, busting through her age size already while Lucas, 4 years 10 months, is just now retiring those. 

Independence. While Lucas and I still willingly put out our arms and legs to allow you to dress me, Raia has been insisting on clothing herself for about a year now, after she picks out her own clothes, something Lucas and I never even knew was an option in life.

Self-potty trained before age 2. Enough said.

Attitude. In her short three years, Raia has pioneered such acts as the shoulder shrug which indicates, "no" without words. Emphatically. Defiantly.

While Lucas and I fling ourselves into the arms of strangers - pretty much anyone, anywhere, anytime - Raia holds back, analyzing the situation and giving the person the up-and-down several times. Unmoved by the display of affection and all the attention it gets us, she plays hard to get with aplomb.

The complete package.

Stubbornness. I thought I had perfected the stop, drop and roll move of resistance when being asked to do something or go somewhere I didn't want to, but then Raia took it to a new level. She stops, drops and planks whipping her body into a rigid log and instantly doubling her weight so as to prevent physical intervention by an adult.

Tough Love. Or Aggression? Raia's running hugs (when she does hug) are made with the same force as a linebacker rushing a quarterback. Lawrence Taylor, move over.  

She shows heightened mastery of "selective listening" and, like an undercover agent, pretends she hears or understands nothing said to her by teachers, friends and even parents.  When it suits her. Why didn't we ever think of that?

And then there is the side glance, better known as the side glare - the smoldering look of death that speaks more than words: a warning, a threat.

Raia must be strong to survive. Third child, ruminator and mommy's girl, Raia is a crucial member of our threesome of unstoppable and wild mayhem. We love her so much with each new day. But we never could've imagined how the tiny preemie, lying innocently and demure in a tiny hospital incubator, would someday become the force that she is today. 

Although we should've known that when she busted her way through to a two-month early birth. Silly us.

Happy Birthday, Raia!

Look out teenage years!

* in this blog, we use the terms "normal" and "typical" loosely

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'My Three Sons' no Longer!

Which one of these is not like the other? Answer: All of the above!

Xena, warrior princess, on her noble steed.
Watch out world!

Steel yourselves for a barrage of gender stereotypes because that is exactly what has bombarded us in the last few months.

Up until recently, mommy lived by two axioms:

1. That babies are more or less genderless until well after their first year. They exist to eat, sleep and be cute. Some Most babies are horrible sleepers and some eat better than others. But those aren't gender traits, rather just baby foibles. 
2. That she herself was mother to three sons. This was an assessment based on behavioral patterns of hyperactivity and destruction typically, if not unfairly, attributed to male children.

That was until Raia turned 2 years old and subsequently turned up the dial on stereotypes. 

All the way to DEFCON 5.

It all began around Raia's two-year mark one chilly autumn day as we dressed for school. "Sandals." Raia stated emphatically. 

"But it's cold outside, we wear sandals only in the summer," mommy reasoned.

"Sandals." This was no question or debate. Merely statement of fact. "Sandals."

"Sneakers." 

"Sandals!"

"Boots?"

"SANDALS!"

Yikes!

It used to be that Raia was the third wheel in our sibling schemes of wreaking havoc. And while she still climbs like a pro and throws anything in her path, she has begun to carve out her own path on this twisted trail we blaze together. And now her gender orientation seems to be on a clear trajectory toward several female stereotypes:

• Fierce, not-to-be-tampered-with (or assisted) fine motor skills
• Opinions with regard to fashion (including and not limited to socks and underwear)
• Independent eating (and thereby independently creating a big mess)
• Independent dressing (refusing any assistance therein, despite failed attempts at clothing oneself)
• Independent grooming (do not even think about helping her brush her teeth and wash up!) 

It is through these few items that mommy and abba are starting to understand yet another divergence in raising us three babies. Lucas and I will let anyone feed or dress us. You want to spoon bites into my mouth when the only action required of me is to part my lips? Sure, go ahead! You will pull off my shirt and replace it with another while I partially stiffen my limbs in a meager attempt to help you? Don't let me stop you! 

We live the life of leisure and we love it. We will take advantage of this as long as we can.

Raia, on the other hand, demands to do it all herself, even though her desires and her abilities aren't yet on par. Try to help her get dressed and risk a tantrum the size of China. Try to feed her, but duck as she swats the utensil right back at you. Try to lift her into her car seat - and brace your back for her trademark deadweight succumb-to-gravity plank that will be sure to rip the muscles out of your back!

We are all aware of our individuality and our special differences and character traits, all of which trump gender. But suffice it to say that Raia is redefining child rearing in our home lately. 

Never a dull moment over here! 

Do not help me eat my doughnut!

Do not help me eat my cake!

Center of attention, anyone?

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Common Core Math: 3/3=2 (Solution: The Third Child has turned Two)

This is love

This is tolerance

Today is the auspicious occasion of Raia's second birthday. It was not supposed to be today and the three of us were not supposed to be this close together in age. However, Raia has been her own person with her own opinions and ideas - even extending to her birth date - for two+ years now.

In fact, Raia was supposed to put at least two years between herself and Lucas. But she forced her way into the world two months early, and has never looked back. She has been a force to be reckoned with ever since. Without a vestige of "preemie" left in her blood.

Now, we have a gap of three years and three months between the eldest and youngest: 1.4. between me and Lucas and 1.11 between Lucas and Raia.

I suppose one must be strong if he or she is the third child, especially following this particular Act 1 (moi) and Act 2 (Lucas) in our family. Because we are also sort of pushy and strong-willed and extremely dramatic plus all those other wonderful adjectives that describe extremely outgoing, independent and supremely self-confident children.

Welcome to the toddler+ world Raia! She had her first cognizant
experience at the zoo last week. She was too young to care on prior trips.

I doubt two months extra en utero would have made a dramatic difference in the ease of handling us three babies, but it certainly didn't make it any easier. If birth circumstances dictate one's personality then Raia was born to be a bucking bronco. She will one day have to recount her entire birth story, which essentially took place over the course of one month, but suffice it to say that she handles herself with aplomb amid two older brothers. Fear is not a factor. And getting bumped or pushed doesn't phase this girl, sometimes known as Godzilla.

Leading the charge!

Despite the fact that it defies reason, there is somewhat of a case for having three babies close together. It is called Compacted Cuteness. You have a cuteness overload squeezed into a few years rather than spread over time (in addition to sleep deprivation, infant and toddler milestones). And as a bonus, after you've survived the early years, the parents can look forward to having three teenagers simultaneously!

Birds of a feather, bird watching  

The three wise men

The three stooges?

Charlie's Angels??

School strike! Yes there are children beneath those backpacks.

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Raia - 365 days minus 2 months!

Happy birthday Raia!

First official piece of cake

It is official - Raia has passed her 365 day mark as of yesterday. And yet she still has two whole months to go until she was supposed to make her appearance. And what a grand appearance it was (fodder for a future blog - the "two months early" is the least of the adventure that occurred).

The fact that she has now passed the 365-day mark is special because it means that mommy and abba can know specifically how many nights they have not slept through the night!

Nevertheless, Raia continues to astound the world. Preemie no more, she weighs the same as Lucas did when he turned 1. Nothing less than a size 12 months will fit her rotund tummy. Her cheeks have blossomed to kissable proportions.

But most of her milestones are due to the tutelage of her older brothers. Of course! We have not sat idly by and watched her grow. No, instead we took her under our wings (as soon as she was more than 4 lbs.) and taught her all sorts of important things such as:

1. Where the electrical outlets are located
2. How to climb the children beds, chairs and mini piano
3. That the best toys are TV remotes and cell phones 
4. That the squeaky wheel - or the loudest baby - gets the oil (or whatever they want.need)

We have recently taken up other valuable lessons as you will see in the following (ridiculously cute) videos:

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A Milestone for the Baby Book

In order to survive in this family, one must be heard
- and sometimes being seen with a hard core
pout is tantamount to being heard

This pout is classic theatrics. Good job, Raia!

Raia's 8th month was a turning point in her life. She just started ticking off the milestones like they were simple bullet points:

• Sitting up unsupported: check
• Transferring from all fours to sitting: check
• Eating properly from a spoon: check
• Grabbing spoon and feeding self (in the eye): check
• Crawling(-ish): check
• Pouting: check
• Holding own bottle: check
• Discovering and then eating own feet: check

But the most important milestone occurred on Raia's last day of 8 months, which was Aug. 17. This milestone is unique to a third child and is one you won't find in standard baby books. But it is vital nonetheless:

MILESTONE ALERT: In a swift and deft move, Raia swiped a piece of bread from an unsuspecting Lucas and instantly shoved it into her mouth, proceeding to nosh the entire chunk.

Lucas dropped to the floor in a heap of tears. And Raia chomped, unaware of his theatrics but fully confident of one critical fact: She will survive as the third sibling. 

When Raia was born 9 weeks early, we were told to lower our expectations by 2 months, so that Raia's developmental age would be adjusted for her early birth. But that was a deceptive and covert bit of information that lulled us - her brothers - into complacency.

Raia can now hold her own. In fact, at her last weigh in, the nurse declared that she was completely normal for her chronological age. And with thighs like those, she would certainly give pause to any sumo wrestler.

Now we, her brothers, must also begin to learn to give respect where it is due. And we will guard the food in our hands with fervor!  

I am the glue that holds these sibs together.
And they both get their drama from me. 

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Three, Three and Three!

Even at 4, th world continues to revolve around me!

I must interrupt my lack of blogging to allow mommy one last chance to brag about something she can only claim for the next hour: She and abba have three kids, 3 years and under. Three in diapers. And this "feat" lasted for almost 9 months.

In just minutes, I will be 4. And to celebrate I am making my parents' claim of hardship much less glamorous. Saying they have three children 4 years old and under is not nearly as impressive nor does it evoke as much sympathy.

As part of my second 4th birthday party - the first was on another continent a week prior - my classmates at Shalva took turns coming up to me to congratulate and hug me.

Esther

Ephraim

Even Mommy came to celebrate the festivities

And give hugs

As did my Nechama

We played under the tent

And I danced

My forever dance partner/teacher: Nechama!

Esther and I came back for seconds :)

And 20ths. 100ths. Etc. 

And that was just party #2. The first party I had was bestowed upon me in New York surrounded by friends and family of a different kind.

Lucas made a good friend - Jonathan.

At this party, Lucas and his new friend Jonathan policed the proceedings. After all, what are the three staples of a birthday party? 1. Balloons 2. Cake and 3. Presents. Until those three were enacted, Lucas and Jonathan made their presence known in no uncertain terms.

The sugar rush before the sugar

I posed and was posed for many photos

Raia was swept up by Gracie who made sure
the girls were taken care of 

Enjoy this view. Only in America.

The cake at birthday parties 2 and 3 will not look like this.

A near life-size Thomas balloon. And a blur of children.

Almost all of us are looking at the camera!

The rush of sugar swept me into my fifth year

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