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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Hear ye, oh Hear Ye

It may not be my hearing that needs testing. After needless worry about my impending sedation and hearing results, mommy and abba discovered that today's appointment was the PRE-test checkup, not the actual ABR. Somehow mommy and abba both understood it wrong (or maybe the secretary really did explain it wrong - we'll never know). So what awaited us today turned out to be merely yet another audiology test along with a visit to an Ears, Nose and Throat doctor.

Or, should I say, a dietician? I believe I lost about a kilo today. That would be 2.2 lbs. And that was in ear wax alone. Yes, the dutiful ENT had the job of helping improve my hearing by removing the hardened wax that has been adorning my small ear canals. Lots of it had been calling my ears home for quite some time now. Not only did the ENT insist that now I'd hear like a champion, but he also said my previous hearing test scores were actually stellar and he saw no reason for an ABR. He added that there was no way I should undergo this test anyway with the rivers of mucous swimming around in my head. What a nice guy! Disaster averted for the moment.

I'd rather be here today, at school,
in a pool of colorful balls, that I can eat

Well, all his niceness wore off during the wax removal. I do not understand why mommy actually pays to have treatments done involving wax and the painful removal thereof. Ouch. The nice ENT-turned-tortmenter stuck some knife-like object into my ears and pulled out the crud leaving me in a crying - nay, wailing - heap on the bed. This did not bode well.

When we went back to the audiologist for a follow-up hearing check - the old fashioned method of them calling out silly sounds from speakers located in a soundproof room - I merely sat facing forward and glared at the door through which the audiologist exited. I refused to acknowledge the sounds, my name being called or any noise at all even the loud ones that were designed to make me jump. I was stoic and stubborn. I decided I would not participate in any more of these tests. All I wanted at the moment, especially after the wax extrication, was comfort, a bottle and a nap, please. Now.

Instead, of discerning that I was on strike with these silly games, the hysteric audiologist insisted that now I hear worse! And for punishment he measured my tympanic membrane thus causing more wailing and need for comfort. I pretty much cried for the next 10 minutes straight while depositing a liter of snot on mommy's shoulder until a bottle and a nap in my stroller were finally provided. In the meantime the ENT and audiologist duked it out and rescheduled my appointment for an ABR until many months from now. And that came with a wink from the ENT who said he'd give me a good once over beforehand to avoid any unnecessary testing. Despite the torture, I kind of like this guy.

My new morning look these days: dried snot and teary eyes

The day wasn't a total loss. One, I lost the excess wax weight. And two, the drive to the hospital was sort of like a practice run for when my baby brother decides to make his entry into the world.

And then, to make up for a dreary day, we had breakfast for dinner - a strictly American concept - replete with scrambled eggs and pumpkin pancakes. I believe that is also American - adding pumpkin to anything, especially in the month of November. I am certainly not opposed to that.


  1. Aww Daniel we all know you can hear...way to trick the doctors!!!

  2. What a courageous baby you are!!!

  3. Daniel, we love you!!!