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Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Brides and Babies and the Wedding Day STRESS Factor

The Aisle. Zia Em did it!
But as glowing as she was, she had some stiff
competition on her big day.
The Aisle. Here is me, deer in the headlights.
This is the moment I panicked and tried to run the other way
("Who are all these people and why are they staring at me?")

It is the big day. You have spent much of your life waiting for this moment. You can feel the atmosphere abuzz with anticipation. Friends and family are gathered. All for you.

Suddenly the doors swing open and before you lies the much trumpeted aisle and the adoring gazes of the masses gathered to celebrate your big day.

And then panic seizes you and you run.

Have no fear, that is not what Zia Em did at her wedding last month. She boldly strode down the aisle in her shiny pearl dress and beaming smile. It was I, on the other hand, who had second thoughts. And, clearly, I had designs to single handedly destroy her lovely day. Lucky for her, I eventually braved the aisle despite my better judgment. And as it turned out, I sort of liked it!

While many people have traditionally assumed that the most stressed out and fawned over wedding participant is the bride, I beg to differ. In fact, I will offer incontrovertible proof of how false that statement is. While it may be a close call, the truth is that babies are a much more difficult factor in preparation for the big day. We cause as much if not more stress than perhaps your wedding day musician or photographer who cancels at the last minute.

After all, Zia Em (Zemmy) had an understanding and expectation of the day. And even though she had a little help, Zemmy was pretty much self sufficient in arriving, dressing and even leading her own music set at her own wedding! The same cannot be said for Lucas, Raia and myself.

How Babies (toddlers, young children) Enhance Wedding Day Stress Factor: 
  1. We have no understanding or appreciation of what is about to transpire as this is most likely our first ever wedding or aisle experience.
  2. We are unwavering in our belief that despite this being "your day" that the world still revolves around us.
  3. We do not awake on the morn of the wedding and miraculously feed ourselves, dress ourselves, comb our hair, behave or follow important instructions for the big event. We still need you who are busily preparing yourself for the big day.
  4. Hence, caretakers must be found for us so that we arrive at the location of said big event fed, dressed, groomed (mini groomsmen after all!), pinned with flowers, and controlled so that we don't ruin anyone else's dresses, tuxes, hair, flowers and so on. 
  5. We must try to dim our light just a little bit so that the bride and perhaps even the groom can get some of the attention on this day!
These are all difficult if not insurmountable tasks.

Weddings are already a highly pressured event for those involved in the planning. And so many more people are needed to help when a wedding involves small human beings. As you can see from the following chart, babies really do have more requirements than the bride!

Wedding Checklist

Hairstylists
  • Bride - Check. Zia Em had one. 
  • Babies - Check. We had three! One each.
Dressing assistants
  • Bride - Check. Mother of the bride plus bridesmaids.
  • Babies - Double Check. Morning babysitters (3) plus abba who had to rescue one of the babysitters from the manipulative clutches of Lucas!
Florist
  • Bride bouquet - Check
  • Baby boutonnieres - Check. Plus several people to keep us from ripping it off and ripping our suits in the process.
Babysitters (because both parents were in wedding party)
  • Bride - None needed
  • Babies - Check. A total of five babysitters over nine hours were required for a mere THREE babies!
Total score: Babies 4 - Bride 3. Babies win every time.

Uncle Matt escorted Nanni

Soon-to-be-Uncle Hart with his mommy

Uncle Matt became an Aisle expert! Here he is with his
mommy on his second one-way trip

Shortly after, Lucas was itching to get down the aisle

As I hesitated, Lucas left me behind and took the spotlight for himself

Once I realized what he was up to...

...I decided he wasn't getting any spotlight without me. I ran!

But then Raia made her grand entry

The spotlight was all hers. Who walked
her down the aisle? No one even remembers!

People may recall the wedding day couple. This is
Zia Em on her return trip down the aisle, this time with Uncle Hart!

The after party was dazzling with lots of good food
and wonderful company like Nanni!

And then we had to walk down an aisle of another sort...

 ...and I tried to run again!

Instead of fleeing, I did The Twist with GongGong.
The song was dedicated in our honor.

All in all, December 27 was a beautiful day, and it turned out to be a perfect wedding despite the best efforts of Lucas, Raia and myself. Congratulations to Zemmy and Uncle Hart!

And congratulations to all those who successfully babysat for us including feeding, grooming and corralling us in various settings. We lulled you into complacency, but we will show you our true colors next time.





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