Brides and Babies and the Wedding Day STRESS Factor

The Aisle. Zia Em did it!
But as glowing as she was, she had some stiff
competition on her big day.

The Aisle. Here is me, deer in the headlights.
This is the moment I panicked and tried to run the other way
("Who are all these people and why are they staring at me?")

It is the big day. You have spent much of your life waiting for this moment. You can feel the atmosphere abuzz with anticipation. Friends and family are gathered. All for you.

Suddenly the doors swing open and before you lies the much trumpeted aisle and the adoring gazes of the masses gathered to celebrate your big day.

And then panic seizes you and you run.

Have no fear, that is not what Zia Em did at her wedding last month. She boldly strode down the aisle in her shiny pearl dress and beaming smile. It was I, on the other hand, who had second thoughts. And, clearly, I had designs to single handedly destroy her lovely day. Lucky for her, I eventually braved the aisle despite my better judgment. And as it turned out, I sort of liked it!

While many people have traditionally assumed that the most stressed out and fawned over wedding participant is the bride, I beg to differ. In fact, I will offer incontrovertible proof of how false that statement is. While it may be a close call, the truth is that babies are a much more difficult factor in preparation for the big day. We cause as much if not more stress than perhaps your wedding day musician or photographer who cancels at the last minute.

After all, Zia Em (Zemmy) had an understanding and expectation of the day. And even though she had a little help, Zemmy was pretty much self sufficient in arriving, dressing and even leading her own music set at her own wedding! The same cannot be said for Lucas, Raia and myself.

How Babies (toddlers, young children) Enhance Wedding Day Stress Factor: 

1. We have no understanding or appreciation of what is about to transpire as this is most likely our first ever wedding or aisle experience.
2. We are unwavering in our belief that despite this being "your day" that the world still revolves around us.
3. We do not awake on the morn of the wedding and miraculously feed ourselves, dress ourselves, comb our hair, behave or follow important instructions for the big event. We still need you who are busily preparing yourself for the big day.
4. Hence, caretakers must be found for us so that we arrive at the location of said big event fed, dressed, groomed (mini groomsmen after all!), pinned with flowers, and controlled so that we don't ruin anyone else's dresses, tuxes, hair, flowers and so on. 
5. We must try to dim our light just a little bit so that the bride and perhaps even the groom can get some of the attention on this day!

These are all difficult if not insurmountable tasks.

Weddings are already a highly pressured event for those involved in the planning. And so many more people are needed to help when a wedding involves small human beings. As you can see from the following chart, babies really do have more requirements than the bride!

Wedding Checklist

Hairstylists

• Bride - Check. Zia Em had one. 
• Babies - Check. We had three! One each.

Dressing assistants

• Bride - Check. Mother of the bride plus bridesmaids.
• Babies - Double Check. Morning babysitters (3) plus abba who had to rescue one of the babysitters from the manipulative clutches of Lucas!

Florist

• Bride bouquet - Check
• Baby boutonnieres - Check. Plus several people to keep us from ripping it off and ripping our suits in the process.

Babysitters (because both parents were in wedding party)

• Bride - None needed
• Babies - Check. A total of five babysitters over nine hours were required for a mere THREE babies!

Total score: Babies 4 - Bride 3. Babies win every time.

Uncle Matt escorted Nanni

Soon-to-be-Uncle Hart with his mommy

Uncle Matt became an Aisle expert! Here he is with his
mommy on his second one-way trip

Shortly after, Lucas was itching to get down the aisle

As I hesitated, Lucas left me behind and took the spotlight for himself

Once I realized what he was up to...

...I decided he wasn't getting any spotlight without me. I ran!

But then Raia made her grand entry

The spotlight was all hers. Who walked
her down the aisle? No one even remembers!

People may recall the wedding day couple. This is
Zia Em on her return trip down the aisle, this time with Uncle Hart!

The after party was dazzling with lots of good food
and wonderful company like Nanni!

And then we had to walk down an aisle of another sort...

 ...and I tried to run again!

Instead of fleeing, I did The Twist with GongGong.
The song was dedicated in our honor.

All in all, December 27 was a beautiful day, and it turned out to be a perfect wedding despite the best efforts of Lucas, Raia and myself. Congratulations to Zemmy and Uncle Hart!

And congratulations to all those who successfully babysat for us including feeding, grooming and corralling us in various settings. We lulled you into complacency, but we will show you our true colors next time.

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We Got Carried Away, so to speak

Welcome to 2015. And welcome me back to my blog. I've had a busy few months and I got carried away like carry-on luggage. But now I'm back with lots to report like birthdays, weddings, trans-Atlantic travel, etc. The usual fare in the life of a baby. 

We are getting back on track and back on schedule. Or in Raia's case, no adjustment needed at all: She can live on 5 hours of sleep in any time zone!

So if all goes well and three toddlers can sit still for a few moments, blogging should commence yet again. Cheers!

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Raia - 365 days minus 2 months!

Happy birthday Raia!

First official piece of cake

It is official - Raia has passed her 365 day mark as of yesterday. And yet she still has two whole months to go until she was supposed to make her appearance. And what a grand appearance it was (fodder for a future blog - the "two months early" is the least of the adventure that occurred).

The fact that she has now passed the 365-day mark is special because it means that mommy and abba can know specifically how many nights they have not slept through the night!

Nevertheless, Raia continues to astound the world. Preemie no more, she weighs the same as Lucas did when he turned 1. Nothing less than a size 12 months will fit her rotund tummy. Her cheeks have blossomed to kissable proportions.

But most of her milestones are due to the tutelage of her older brothers. Of course! We have not sat idly by and watched her grow. No, instead we took her under our wings (as soon as she was more than 4 lbs.) and taught her all sorts of important things such as:

1. Where the electrical outlets are located
2. How to climb the children beds, chairs and mini piano
3. That the best toys are TV remotes and cell phones 
4. That the squeaky wheel - or the loudest baby - gets the oil (or whatever they want.need)

We have recently taken up other valuable lessons as you will see in the following (ridiculously cute) videos:

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Silent Nights? Not Quite

Two beds! Anywhere you want them!

As if we were known for our peaceful nights, our parents just made our night times even more celebratory and raucous and theirs ever more busy and much less peaceful. We now have not one but two beds with which we can hold our nightly gatherings. Two mattresses to remove and disrobe! Multiple bed slats to wrest from the bed frame and wave around like wooden swords! Two beds to move around the room to use to scale the other remaining furniture in the room!

This is false

This is true

Our new sleeping arrangements are due in part to an urgency to get (poor) Raia out of a pack and play (finally) and into a real crib before she turns 1. Three weeks and counting! So Lucas got a new bed and the crib will be passed down to Raia.

As you can see, Raia can sleep anywhere

Who needs a crib? Like Moses,
she is happy in a basket!

These last few weeks have been busy. To say the least.

First of all, I started a new school this year. I am an official Pre-Ker. The first two weeks were wrought with screams, tears, hunger strikes, and finally pneumonia thereby causing my parents to flog themselves with self doubt and loads of guilt for daring to mainstream me into the jungle of Israeli public education. But the pneumonia was short lived as were the tears and, suddenly, I adjusted to my new school! I made friends, I gave hugs, I blew kisses and I got my own personal assistant and was even invited to a birthday party!

Then just as soon as I adjusted, the holidays rolled in.
All
28
Days
of holidays.

Days on, days off. Until finally 12 days in a row and I was at home as were Lucas and Raia.

Mommy swears that our apartment turned into a frat house. Discipline of time or behavior evaporated into thin air. Nobody ate on time or ate well. By the end of these two weeks, we could've had ice cream for breakfast and no one would've cared.

But as a bonus this was the same time that (drumroll) Mimi and GongGong came here to visit! Here's how it went:

1. ARRIVAL
Reunited and it feels so good!

Yes, we are doing the twist.

2. JERUSALEM MARCH

Always exciting and very colorful!

3. RANDOMNESS

Getting Raia accustomed to a crib

Waking up GG from his nap!

4. JUMPING CASTLE

A good way to spend some energy

A little bit of Mozart at the train station

5. THE ZOO

And now that the holidays are over, so is the fun. And the frat house. And Mimi and GongGong, who headed back to NY. We go to bed pass out at respectable hours. We eat at set times for the most part. And we head out the door every day for bootcamp, I mean school.

On a positive note, however, maybe this means I will have more time to write! 

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And We Have Breakthrough

Raia laughs off her beauty sleep!

Nearly a month after this recent post, Aria of the Teething Baby, was written, enamel has emerged from one of Raia's bulging gums on top. Just on one side and just a smidgen, but finally, some breakthrough.

I suppose that means we can rest in peace at night for awhile now. Oh wait, no we can't! Because Raia is cooking up another tooth! And because I, despite a mouth full of ivories, impede my own respite. And have confounded the medical world as to why I do not sleep through the night.

Despite this being the Middle East, this is
not what you think

Okay, maybe not confounded completely. But we must wait three weeks for a report on this recent debacle:

1. A night at the sleep lab. 
2. The eve before the first day of school. 
3. At the hospital. 

Three strikes.

So there was me, somehow laced with about 2 dozen wires protruding from my head, legs, neck, chin, chest, etc etc. There is really no explanation for how I managed a short and disjointed 5 hours of sleep that night at all (10 p.m. to midnight, then 3 to 6 a.m.).

And since I dismantle my own bed at home every morning, it is an indescribable miracle that 1. I did not dismantle the hospital bed and 2. that I did not pull out every single wire attached to my body. Only three were pulled out. But on the other hand, some glue is still stuck in my hair.

Can anyone really sleep like this? Let alone a baby?

Now if only they could read my thoughts as well...

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