Outdone by a Little - and I mean little - Baby!

Touche, baby sister! Nice touch on the whole premature birth thing!

I heard through the grapevine that my track record for drama has been shattered. Mommy is AWOL again and this time it has a lot to do with the perhaps not-so-shocking news of the century: our little sister, Raia Jansezian, was born on Monday, Nov. 18 at 5 p.m.

Eight weeks early.  

Plus she caused mommy to spend an inordinate amount of time beforehand (and now afterwards) in a hospital.

She will steal the spotlight for at least the next few weeks, making mommy and abba traipse back and forth between Lucas and I at home and Raia at the hospital. Raia may actually beat my own hospital-stay record in just the first month of her life! Although she is not allowed to count the time (about 20 days) from before she was born. That wouldn't be fair.

Lucas and I have yet to see evidence of her arrival, which occurred less than 24 hours ago. Apparently she is a top-secret baby. If she does exist, we other babies will not be able to lay an eye or a hand on her until she is discharged from the hospital. And after 7 months of manhandling mommy's belly, this is going to be a rough time for us to have to abstain.

Raia's first few portraits will be just like mine - replete with wires and tubes, under a heating lamp and in a preemie ward.

She was on track to be the biggest of all the Jansezian babies, threatening to pass the 8 or 9 lb mark if she waited till week 40. That was good though since she clocked in at 1.970 kilos at week 31, well surpassing 4 pounds.

All in all, Raia (pronounced rye-uh) is off to a good start physically and dramatically. She is going to fit in great with Lucas - Italian soccer player drama queen - and myself - the ultimate king and diva of all sorts of theatrics.

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A Force to be Reckoned With on the Broadway Stage of our Lives

Lucas practices this look...

...and I perfect mine!

I believe our sister is already angling for the spotlight and how she may steal it from me. I am constantly in a tug of war with Lucas for this spotlight and, as you may recall, I managed to wrest the attention away from Lucas' birth (see link for more info) with a dramatic ride to the hospital in an ambulance while connected to an oxygen machine. You really can't beat tactics like that. I made sure to remain in the hospital up until and then even after Lucas' birth and send off so that my homecoming was after his.

But since his birth, Lucas has proven to be a formidable opponent. When he started out, his cry was an Academy-Award-winning-wake-up call that was akin to the Nazgul from Lord of the Rings. It caused even the bravest adults to react with sheer terror, and mommy was even too traumatized to close her eyes lest she be awoken in such a manner from a much-needed deep sleep. Now in his older days, Lucas channels Italian soccer player diva mannerisms by collapsing into dramatic cries. On the ground. Replete with fake tears and the trademark flip of the hair from his forehead. His Italian side really shines through when it comes to drama.

Lucas is already a force to be reckoned with
on the attention-getting front

But then again, I am constantly working
on a new look to sport as well

But this new baby - even before birth - is proving a force that could outdo the both of us. First of all she has the advantage of being of the princess gender. Second, she is the youngest child. And third, she has already caused some major upheaval in our lives by placing mommy in the hospital for nearly two weeks.

If you can judge a personality by one's pre-birth behavior, this one will also try to out-dance me on the dance floor - which is MY territory. She is practicing her moves as she swings violently around the womb at all times. And she is supremely impatient having already threatened to invade our space with an early birth.

I can already sense the competition beginning to heat up!

The following videos are from the hospital when Lucas and I invaded mommy and princess' space for a few hours the other day. As you can see, there is no dearth of entertainment options at a hospital!

The following two photos: One is breakfast, one is dinner
- every single day at the hospital. 

Can you guess which is which?

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Who Says Hospitals are Boring?

Look who we found!

 Mommy has been awol for almost two weeks now, hiding away from Lucas and I. We have spotted her during that time on FaceTime or Skype, but before today, we haven't had any confirmation of her exact whereabouts.

However now we know where she is - and that she has been misleading us all along!

Mommy is vacationing in a toddlers' paradise - without us! She has a bed that reclines and rises with the touch of some alluring buttons. She is surrounded by all sorts of advanced technological equipment that would be ever so much fun to play with. The elevators are glass and you could spend all day watching the fun compartments go up and down. She gets served three meals a day - to her bedside! And, someone comes to clean her room - every single day. Who could ask for anything more? Well, a bucket of champagne would be nice too, according to mommy.

Buttons!

Wheels!

Personally I think she is trying to get in some vacation before there are three of us to outnumber our parents and the amount of hands needed to juggle our needs. And yet she says she misses us and that she is bored out of her mind.

But after today I realized it is a ruse - hospitals are anything but boring. When we finally came to visit, we couldn't contain ourselves!

More buttons!

A bed with buttons!

Recline!

A remote control!

Incline!

Lights! Buttons! Equipment! Beeps! Nurses! Hallways! Wheelchairs instead of strollers!

Lucas and I were ecstatic and spent the first several minutes inspecting every crevice of mommy's room. We tried to unplug life support machines. We adjusted the bed - sometimes while either one of us were under it! The IV bag would make a great bath toy we noticed. The doctors' computers are on rolling desks - a double whammy of disaster waiting to happen. The  windowsills make perfect benches for sitting. The closets and drawers are perfect for our height. And the curtains make a great place to play peekaboo, or cuckoo as it is called in other parts of the world.

Free rides!

Lots of free rides!

We took rides in the glass elevators waving to anyone in the lobby who cared to watch. We used a wheelchair as a roller coaster up and down ramps. And we rearranged the furniture in the family room. Lucas and I also learned how to squeeze the alcohol from the bottles that are conveniently placed at the door of every room so that every part of us and the surrounding floors were well disinfected, perhaps better than ever!

It was a new adventure, a day of pioneering for both myself and Lucas. A span of two hours that left us spent of almost every ounce of toddler energy we have (our reserves are endless though). So we weren't too upset when we left, without mommy. I smacked her face and Lucas whimpered a little. But otherwise we were too tired to be upset for long. During the car ride home I napped and then when we got home we both continued in that vein, replenishing our reserves for the afternoon's activities.

And then we saw mommy again later ominously appearing on the iPad from her "spa." Hmph!

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Mommy Hair Cut = Fail 2

A big oops on the bangs.

She came. She snipped. She failed.

Again.

And it is with intentional irony that I reword Caesar's own infamous phrase to describe mommy's second major haircut debacle at the expense of poor Lucas. Because now he resembles a Roman official back in the days of yore. Or Moe of the Three Stooges.

Mommy claims Lucas was too cute and could afford to be humbled a little. But since anyone who looks at Lucas instinctively knows who butchered his hair, it is mommy in the end who is humbled.

And on that note she is on her knees praying for the speedy passage of time - and supernaturally quick hair growth - to rectify this major faux pas!

See this post regarding the previous haircut fail. Lucky for me mommy seems to save her biggest haircutting disasters for little brother. I've been spared at least until now.

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Since we're Talking about Family...

Here comes trouble!

Uncle Matt took Lucas for a ride on the swing - after
spending about 30 patient minutes with me on a swing

The last few months and the one coming up was and will be characterized by family and friend visits. That is always a fun prospect since most blood relations live very far away from here.

Uncle and Aunt M&M came to visit and got to watch us in action - which was sometimes very terrifying for them as we displayed our prowess balancing on dangerous heights and flinging ourselves to the floor. Our Kiwi friend Sharon also dropped by for a visit from a faraway land, which was fun mainly because she is baby savvy and she even let us use her iPad. And next month, Mimi and GongGong will be coming to see us because, as GongGong says, their lips miss our succulent cheeks. Completely understandable.

But because of this distance from most family, mommy and abba have had to take that burden upon themselves to provide us with entertainment. Thus, we are awaiting the arrival at some point in early January of another sibling to keep us entertained!

This seemingly has necessitated a whole new slew of demands for us as we graduate to even bigger brothers now. Mommy has a long list of expectations that tend to bring a smile - nay, a smirk - to our mischievous but cute little faces:

1. Use the potty
2. Dress ourselves
3. Tie our own shoe laces
4. Feed ourselves
5. Prepare our own meals
6. Pour our own drinks
7. Wash our plates when done with dinner
8. Climb the four flights of stairs on our own two legs
9. Put our toys away when we are finished with them
10. And finally, clean the apartment floors vanquishing any trace of baby drool that turns into black sticky spots on the tile after we traipse through said puddles with our shoes on. Every day. 

Of course all of this may not happen by January even though we've been "working on" some of these concepts for about 6 to 7 months now. It looks like 3 babies under 3.5 years of age is going to be replete with all of the stereotypical cuteness and foibles that one can imagine. Sorry mommy and abba!

Auntie Sharon let us play with her iPad!

Uncle Matt found new and exciting ways
to entertain us

So in keeping with the spirit of things, we devised our own counter list of expectations for mommy and abba as we await the arrival of Numero Tre:

1. Get a bigger apartment or upgrade to a house. With a backyard.
2. Neither of us are giving up the stroller just yet, so bear that in mind
3. Good luck making three meals per meal now: one for Lucas and I, one for abba and you, and one for an infant when solids are introduced.
4. Oh yea, and we hate vegetables. And meat. 
5. Instead of sharing our toys, please make sure there are three of each so we don't have to fight.
6. And finally, we refuse to share our boys' room with a girl! So please solve the space issue and make sure she keeps her pink to herself!

Next time we take this photo, where is
little sister going to fit??

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Not Your Average First Visit to the Dentist

A smile like this at the dentist's office?? You betcha!

Despite my parents' worst fears and their very low expectations, my first visit to a dentist ended not with tears or me unraveling in a fit, but instead with yours truly leading the lovely dentist in a rendition of Gangam style!

It took a baby and a Brazilian immigrant to turn a routine dental check up into a dance party. And that is not surprising, is it?

There was great cause for celebration since the dentist determined I apparently brush well enough to have healthy teeth (even though she doesn't know I mainly just suck the toothpaste out of the bristles) and I show no sign of using a cheechung (pacifier in Italian dialect). Good practice for my career as an undercover operative!

Despite the oral intervention, I maintained my cool

Abba was also very excited, if not shocked
by my exemplary behavior

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The Danger Zone

When I asked mommy why she hasn't posted a blog of mine in so long, her response was, "My first priority is to keep you and Lucas alive. That leaves no time for blogs."

So after a long bout of holidays which basically ate up the entire month of September, we have all been safely back at school, ensconced in our daily routine. And when I say "safely" I mean our apartment is now slightly more safe from the destructive force of toddlers. And we are slightly more safe from windows, bookshelves and electrical equipment.

And that long, destructive month has extended well into October on the weekends.

Yes, we turn ordinary household items into WMDs as we gravitate toward danger and look for more effective ways to speed up the aging process of our parents.

Here is a pictorial essay of our last few weeks:

Lucas squeezed himself into a toy meant for
about half his age and size

Look mom! I can climb - and probably leap off!

But I won't (yet)

Lucas might. We discovered we can move the
toy basket into the living room so we could
climb it there as well

Lucas learned how to shampoo my hair

Oh look! A grill! The things we can do...

Lucas being self-disciplined - spanking  himself

This use for the potty gives new meaning to piano "stool"

Why would one sit on a moving bus when
they can do something more dangerous?

We were not limited to our own apartment as we brought our devious ways to Nene and Dede's home.

We learned to scale
their kitchen table!

Never leave food within baby's reach...

...Or put baby's reach near the food. Stymied!

Please note who appears in the majority of the photos. I believe that makes me the less naughty baby.

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